Day 12

Weigh-in: 160.0

I passed my ACLS class today and now I'm advanced cardiac life support certified!
Things are getting tougherwith my weight loss and eating though and I've been feeling more depressed lately d/t my weight... :/

While waiting to have dinner with Suja and joy, I stopped by Urban because I had about 45 minutes til meet-up time and when I saw what I had been wearing all day, I was kinda embarrassed. I know I really don't have much style in clothes but I think it's because I grew up not being able to wear nice clothes because I was always fat. I tried on some stuff from the sale section but everything looked bad on my gross body... I look around and every other girl I passed by was dressed so nicely and I kinda look like a homeless girl.. sigh. After dinner we did go to H&M though because I really really need some clothes and there h&m had some good sales. I got a pair of jeans because I currently only have like 2 pairs.and i got a plaid shirt that i can wear during the summer.

I went home quite sad though. Honestly, I think most of my insecurities in life have stemmed from growing up fat. If I ever have kids, I can't let them get fat because it's traumatizing, really.

Intake: Having an all day last class with a test at the end + being emotion = stressed, tired, bad eating me T_T

Breakfast:
Omelet with 2 eggs + 2 egg whites, yellow bell peper, 3 slice deli ham, chives, broccoli

Snack:
1 NV granola bar 190
2 donut holes. I know....

Lunch:
Went to boston market
Got 1/2 bowl of tortilla soup and 1/2 mediterranean salad

Snack:
slice of banana bread that was near the donut boxes-- i kept craving carbs all day :(

Dinner:
Salad @ plutos of farmer greens, tomatoes, edamame, red onions, cucumbers, beets, spoonful of bleu cheese, steak and balsamic vinegar. Said no to the bread though.

After dinner I was really really craving frozen yogurt, but didn't and being all emo I ended up having TWO chobani yogurts, 30 almonds and a whole bunch of chocolate cheerios. I know I shouldn't have but at that time I just didn't really care, despite how detrimental it was. I probably would have been better off getting froyo. Sigh sigh.

Exercise:

I should be working out right now but I really have no desire to. I really don't want to do anything right now and feel so blahhhh. Maybe I'll start a Korean drama so I can escape for a bit. Tomorrow will hopefully be a better day.